Broken To Pieces

They say things happen over time, and I clearly don’t know who “they” are.

Sometimes things happen in an instant, that can completely tear your world apart.

There is a moment in my life, I wish I could turn back the clock

To just a few seconds before it occurred, so I could avoid it, completely.

In seconds, my life came to a tragic halt, and everything I knew prior to that changed.

For years, looking at a doorknob wasn’t the same for me, it changed.

For months, every man I looked at I saw differently than before.

For weeks, I wouldn’t go home alone.

For days, I just wanted to curl up, and die.

For hours, I wanted to kill him, and didn’t care what happened to me because of it.

For minutes, I lost myself in moments of rage and disbelief.

For seconds, I wondered if I would live.

Life isn’t what happens to you over a long span of time

Sometimes it is in seconds, or minutes, or days –

They don’t define you, but they arrange you, and your perspective on everything.

Then, you are lost in a hole that you don’t know how to get out of

You are broken, to pieces, yet somehow still sufficiently alive.

PTSD takes a toll on us, every day –

Being so alert and aware of our surroundings

Being frightened over things like thunder, a car engine, or a doorknob.

Not telling – Not dealing – Not wanting – Not needing

We know that a second can ruin a life

It takes years to rebuild the trust in humanity we lose

From that second.

5 thoughts on “Broken To Pieces

Add yours

  1. You are such an amazing Lady..
    You and your writing touch the very heart beat of people every where who suffer from PTSD.
    Another excellent poem Josephine- Love to you ❤

  2. Josephine this is powerful writing and I agree lives can change in a second. We need to appreciate the good moments and I cannot imagine what it would be like for people with PTSD? Crippling, I would expect as someone who suffers from mild anxiety.

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