Better Than Sleeping Alone

Even if I had to listen to him snore

His mother was a chore

Wouldn’t touch a mop

His favorite movie was a flop

We had to watch Star Wars

He had Grand Canyon size pores

He told me I’m a fling

Then bought a huge ring

Confused like Columbus

Always rode the short bus

Couldn’t cook a dish

Or make a simple wish

He never held my hand

Gave me twenty grand

Constantly logged into Facebook

Other women had a look

Had a hairy ass

Flunked psychology class

Couldn’t order wine

Never had a dime

Told me what to write

Constantly on the fight

Smoked more than Willy Nelson

Owned several Smith & Wesson

Couldn’t get him on the phone

Would still be better than sleeping alone.

* Artwork by Escha van den Bogerd *