As thoroughly as the water washes it away
Hope always brings it right back.
The tender mercy of death
Won’t even come to me when I ask.
I rode through a field so fast once
Upon a black horse I called perseverance.
Two animals, untamed and unbridled
Left gasping for air when it was all said and done.
Then I hung dangling off a cliff
When people would come I would scream at them to go.
Why would someone want to be saved from something
They had done to themselves?
Forgiveness is a righteous sin
Cast out so long ago, I don’t even remember it.
Yet the consequence for holding it all in
Was that it always tore me so completely apart.
A woman left a scar on my left arm once
To make it even, I cut the other arm.
Nobody gets to leave scars on me
Not without my permission anyway.
My healing came when I knelt on the ground
Begging for my salvation, and just a teeny pinch of mercy.
I was always told not to ask Heavenly Father for anything
I wasn’t willing to give myself.
When they told me not to speak to my inner demons
It suddenly occurred to me I was in the wrong place.
Everyone knows we have to get along with them
If only for the sanctity of our minds.
When I found a man I fell in love with
Asked him why, for years he didn’t want me
He looked me up and down, raised his brow
Then told me I was stained.
In a familiar reaction to his dissatisfaction
I had him quartered then fed to the pigs.
I’ve never been a woman that took criticism well
Especially from the lesser of the species.