How Do I Feel?

Unrest and unseasoned

A hopeful testament to all that was lost

When something inside of me

Decided I was going to stop living.

Now the voices of people

Along with every other sound that is made

Is just noise;

Complicated vibrations that are meant

To distract me

From the agony

Inside of me.

Material objects around

Are meaningless

Forced upon me in a world

Bent with the destruction

that is commercialism.

What I end up being

In a few weeks

Is an absolute nothing;

A wasted human being

That cares for nothing

Feels nothing

And wants nothing.

The phone rings

I don’t even care enough

To see who it is.

They leave a message

That I have to pretend to listen to

So it can be erased.

It is a good friend

From back before this took hold of me

She wants to know how I’m feeling.

The only problem is

I don’t know..

 

How do I feel?

What do I want?

Why can’t I touch something?

Why can’t something touch me?

 

An unbearable report comes to me

The sense that I’ve lost control of everything

That it is all meaningless and hopeless.

I would cry

But I’ve done enough of that.

I would scream

But would anyone hear me?

I would live

But I don’t feel like it just now.

 

One more week

Just a few days

Of this

Teetering

Then I’ll get up

And think about living again.

 

disappointment

 

One thought on “How Do I Feel?

Add yours

  1. Loved this. Every line reminded me of how I’ve felt at times. Thanks for checking out my blog. I’ll definitely have to pay another visit if you keep taking words out of my mind.

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