He has a photo collage of you at his desk

Showing four pictures representing

Four different times of your life.

He hasn’t looked at it in ages

Because it doesn’t interest him anymore.

She has a ring on her finger

You put on it four years ago.

She takes it off sometimes

When it suits her

Such as when ‘he’ comes around.


A silent partner sits anxiously waiting

His breathing is heavy, anticipating.

But this time things aren’t going to go his way.


Life celebrates the small rewards

Forget that death is what we are going towards

Because nobody likes to face the bitter truth.


He signs the paper that sells his soul

To the tune of millions he’ll be owned by this troll

Yet he thinks he’s getting the better end of the stick.


Years go by as she takes his life

He’s gotten quite a fat and lazy wife

What would you expect from a man like him?


So off he goes to an early grave

His ‘heartbroken’ wife just gives a wave

While she looks around the room to find the next.


Marriage isn’t for the faint of heart

It isn’t something we all should start

Sometimes it’s better left to ignorant fools with faith.


I sit watch the tragedy

Then say “thank God that person isn’t me”

Have another shot of tequila to their bad luck.


Yesterday I joined this fraternity

They said they would love me for eternity

And everyone knows I had to roll my eyes at that.


The last time I heard “I love you” I cried

He said he would, but he hasn’t died

In fact, everyone that said they can’t live without me is alive.


I guess maybe it is all just a lie

Meant to make us feel all good inside

When really they should have to spout the truth.


If you want a lady just for bed

You shouldn’t play with her pretty head

In fact, you really should consider masturbation.


Don’t play with women in long distance crap

She may get angry and set a trap

Where would you be without your lovely pride?


The moral of this poem is true

If you hold your breath you will turn blue

And don’t marry anyone just because you can.


If you are always honest, you will still get lies

Anyone watching too much tv thinks they are spies

And nobody tells the truth when they are nude.


So protect your heart most earnestly

Lock it up and swallow the key

And ignore the beautiful lady down the hall.





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