I Fell

I fell for the only voice I could hear

When walking away from something that didn’t serve me

Something I couldn’t quite swallow

But was swallowing me.

The voice

Made promises but never kept one

Not once.

Changed the place he worked

What he did

As often as the weather.

Called only to sooth a broken ego;

Then walked away

Probably as he has always done.

 

I fell for a narcissist clown

That had thousands of pictures of himself

Would let the world see only a few of them.

Would video with you

Simply so he could watch himself.

I very nearly actually had feelings for this one

But then a long conversation about himself

Would cure that.

 

Sitting in darkness

Knitting a sweater I don’t need.

There is an aching hunger inside me

I really want to feed.

 

Tired of the scores of lies

Promises left broken.

Seeming something very nice

Just turns out be a token.

 

So many nights of sleeping alone

Days filled with monotonous chores.

Beats the hell out of living in haste

Wasting my words on wars.

 

Sitting thinking of past mistakes

Tired of causing so much harm

The infirmary was getting full

My indifference to their injuries

Making me worry about my honor.

 

When I met him I knew he could change my life

The direction, the speed, it all.

I knew it the moment I heard his voice

In that very first phone call.

 

He didn’t go on about himself

His employment and views never change.

Every promise to me he ever made came true

Every phone call a wonderful exchange.

 

I fell for the man with the truth in his voice

The one with his heart set only for me.

He settles my demons, as well as my heart

It is as wonderful as it could be.

 

I chided him for things he’d never done to me

Accused him of wrongdoing when he was devoted

Cried at the thought of losing him;

To my mistrust

To my fear.

Hoping he was strong enough

To overcome that.

 

I look at the nights I spent alone

And how that will all change someday

Every night as he puts me to sleep

I feel what he has to say.

 

I fell for a friend on a midnight walk

When I thought all the world had left;

He didn’t.

When I thought nobody could possibly understand;

He did.

When I wanted to give up and walk away

He wouldn’t let me.

 

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