Between Breaths

Slowly he sings to me in praises I don't quite take in
Then wander through a path I didn't ask for, or intend to go on. 
Always when he comes to me it is in just the right moment for both
Yet understood I cannot communicate complete satisfaction with this. 
Maybe in another life I'll know what it feels like to be in his arms
Or to hear him say he loves me and feel him taking off my clothes. 
Outwardly I am proper and calmness is my appeal.
Yet inwardly I am telling him everything, showing him around the war
Picking up pieces of myself that I lost so long ago, and explaining to him what happened. 
Inside of me, he wanders around my heart like it is his home
Knowing where everything is placed, and keeping himself attached to its core.
He dusts the corners and picks up pieces dropped behind and left
Even if only for the moment he is there.
Sometimes I remember this isn't right and he doesn't belong
I hate those times. 
There are people that your breath away, and he doesn't do that to me.
I feel him always, 
when taking in a breath to gather my strength
Or when I exhale, knowing I've done my best. 
Silence for now is my recourse, to not lose him to feelings I cannot contain.
Smiling I pretend the music doesn't get to me, that it is just like any other song
But I take in every note, caress every crescendo as if it were only written for me
And only I could hear it. 
He remains my calmness and my peace,
Only between breaths do I whisper to him how I feel. 

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